3 Common Questions About Parenting Plans
When my ex-husband and I started our divorce process, the first thing we did was create a parenting plan that immediately created a sense of stability and routine for both us and our children during a time of great upheaval. We were able to create a plan that was truly customized for what would be most beneficial for our kiddos.
On top of creating a framework for what our lives as coparents would look like, our plan saved us from having the figure things out as we moved along through that first of “everything is changed”. Not only that, the creation of a mutually agreeable parenting plan proved to both of us that we would be able to work together to created the kind of life we both wanted for our children.
Since then, I’ve introduced several newly-separated mommas to the idea of putting a parenting plan in place as soon as possible during the divorce process. This will provide some peace in a time of high anxiety, and to feel some confidence that things will work out in the end. This post answers the three questions that they all had when I first mentioned the phrase “parenting plan”.
What Is A Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a legal document either created by parents and approved by a judge OR created by a judge if parents cannot agree on a plan. The document is an agreement detailing exactly how the parents will continue to care for, provide for, and raise their minor children. It is required in divorce cases involving minor children, and is often required in other child custody cases.
What Should Be Included In The Agreement?
At its minimum, a parenting plan will include:
- Legal and physical custody agreements
- Parental responsibilities agreements
- Visitation schedules, including daily living schedules and holiday and vacation agreements
However, the more detailed your parenting plan is, the smoother your coparenting will go. Because of this, your attorney will likely encourage you to include:
- Medical care costs and decisions agreements
- Education plans, including college expense responsibilities agreements
- Extra-curricular plans, including expense responsibilities
- Child care plans and expense responsibilities
- Transportation agreements
- Parental relocation agreements
- Communication between parents regarding children agreements
- Plan for how parenting disagreements will be handled
There may be more items depending on your situation, so be sure to have an attorney walk you through this process. It seems like a lot, but its much easier to deal with it now rather than as each new event occurs.
What Does A Judge Consider If Parents Aren’t Able To Agree On A Plan?
Even if you can’t agree on everything, your attorney will likely want you to submit what you have come up with to the judge. Submitting a parenting plan shows that you and your spouse do have your children’s best interests at hand and want to coparent. I am not an attorney, so I don’t know everything that a judge considers when creating a parenting plan for parents who can’t agree, but I do know that some of the things are:
- Children’s ages and maturity level
- Each parent’s financial ability to provide for the children
- Each parent’s physical, mental, and emotional health
- Each parent’s custody preferences
- Children’s custody preference, if they are mature enough to give input
Please be sure to speak with your attorney if you have more questions about this.
Tips For Creating A Parenting Plan
- Be reasonable about the agreements that you’re trying to make, but be clear about any concerns you may have.
- Remember that the goal of the plan is to create a stable and supportive environment for your child.
- Understand your child’s best interests and tailor your agreements to meet your children’s those needs.
- Make your plan detailed enough to be useful, but include enough flexibility to be realistic.
- Consider scheduling an annual review of the plan over the first few years of its use.
- Have a plan for communicating with your children while they are with the other parent (and vice versa), especially if they are too young to have their own phones or devices.
- Create your parenting plan as soon as you can to make the changes of the divorce process easier on your kids by providing routine and stability.
Keep in mind that everyone’s situation is different. I absolutely encourage you to have an attorney to walk you through this process. You want to be sure that you’ve covered all the important areas of your child’s life, and that you get all of your questions about parenting plans answered.
While I can’t specifically help you create your plan, I can coach you through the process of examining your goals and coach you through the communication side of the planning process. If you’d like to talk more about how I could help you through the parenting plan aspect of your divorce process, please schedule a call with me by clicking here.
