Coaching With Stacie

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  • The Importance of Creating Intentions

    The Importance of Creating Intentions

    As you know, proactively planning action items that will improve the different areas of your life makes you more likely to reach your goals and live the life you want to be living. When you proactively plan action items, you live your life with intention rather than flying by the seat of your pants. Living with intention influences the experiences you have in every area of your life – physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. So what exactly is an intention?

    An intention is a vision based on your values and what matters the most to you that guides your activities, thoughts, attitudes and choices, allowing you to have greater focus, take better action, and generate positive energy for reaching your goals.

    It’s easy to think that intentions are the same as goals, but there are differences:

    • Intentions are based in the present, while goals are focused on the future. Intentions focus on how you want to be in the current moment regardless of whether you are actually hitting your goals or not.
    • Intentions are the daily journey, while goals are the destination or achievement.  We all know that saying about journeys being more important than destinations, right?
    • Intentions revolve around how you want to be and feel in the present moment, while goals are external achievements to be won or lost.

    Let’s say you wanted to start doing yoga. Your intention for the next month could be to create a yoga practice to expand my self care practice of stress relief while improving my physical well being. Your goal for the next month might be to commit to completing at least two yoga sessions a week. Your daily action to achieve that goal could be to show up for and participate in your yoga lesson that is planned for that day.  Do you see how your intentions support your goals?

    Intentions are so important in our lives because of the framework they provide.  Intentions allow you to set your priorities according to your own values, and use your time wisely. Intentions declare to yourself and the universe that you’re serious about reaching your goals, which will then attract those goals to you. Not only that, you will find yourself acting in ways that align with your goals – responding to any given situation or opportunity, making choices, and even correcting course when challenges arise. Intentions give you power to get out of your comfort zone and even face your fears so you can have the experience that you have consciously determined is important to you. Most importantly, they allow you to enjoy the journey you take toward reaching your goals.

    Since they are a real powerhouse to reaching your goals, setting intentions is a positive step to incorporate into your life to give more effectiveness and energy to your journey. You can set intentions at the beginning of any new cycle (year, month, week, project, etc). I like to set daily intentions each morning to really give me a boost of productivity and focus through my day’s work and in my personal life. I also review my intentions at the end of the day to see where I had challenges. When you review your intentions at the end of the cycle, you are able to really see patterns of what you like to do and what you tend to avoid. 

    Once you see a pattern that is holding you back, you can make changes by examining if your values are aligned with the intentions you’re setting and if you need to change your goal. The more curious you are about examining your patterns of behavior, the more you can work towards being your best self and creating a life you love – and isn’t that what it’s all about? Accountability partners and coaches (like me!) can really help you dig in and ask the powerful questions about what is really holding you back from achieving your goals. I’d love to have the opportunity to chat with you about your situation, so click here to schedule a free call with me.

  • Why You Should Consider Collaborative Divorce

    Why You Should Consider Collaborative Divorce

    Hey, sweet girl. If you’re at the beginning of your divorce process, you may not know about the collaborative divorce process and that its an available option to you instead of hashing it all out in court. While it’s not the right option for everyone, you should definitely consider the path of collaborative divorce.  When I met with my attorney for the first time, she introduced me to this process, and after speaking with my now ex-husband, we decided that it was the right choice for us to pursue our divorce settlement. Read on to see if maybe this is an option for you.

    What Is Collaborative Divorce?

    The collaborative divorce process is an alternative to divorce litigation and even divorce mediation.  Litigation puts all of the decisions of the divorce in the court’s hands, whereas mediation uses a single unbiased person as an intermediary to help both spouses together come to an agreement on all aspects of the divorce. Alternatively, during the collaborative divorce process, each spouse and their own attorney work together toward finding mutually beneficial decisions creating a “win win” settlement versus a “win lose” settlement. 

    Collaborative divorce lawyers are specifically trained in the collaborative process and highly skilled in managing conflict, guiding negotiations, and addressing the needs of both spouses. The biggest downside of the collaborative divorce process is that if the negotiations break down to the point where you abandon the process and you need to go to court, neither attorney nor anyone from their firms is allowed to represent either of you.

    Process Overview of Collaborative Divorce

    The general process involves individual meetings with your own separate attorneys, meetings with all four of you where issues are dealt with one by one, and potentially meetings with other professional help such as financial planner, child psychologist, parenting coordinator, mental health professionals, coaches, and real estate agents. Every person involved in the process sign a collaborative participation agreement that states that you will not go to court and that each party will provide full transparency and disclosure.

    Once that agreement has been signed, the process is off and running. You will have multiple meetings to negotiate everything you need to cover in your divorce settlement from financial aspects to co-parenting plans.  

    Once all the information has been negotiated and agreed upon, the attorneys will draft a legally binding document that will be signed by both spouses and filed in court where a judge will pronounce the spouses officially divorced.

    If, for some reason, there is an issue that can’t be settled, the couple can present that point to the court alongside their negotiated settlement to allow the court to decide for them.

    The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

    On top of providing legal protection for both spouses, there are quite a few benefits of the collaborative divorce process.

    • There will usually be a greater attention to the specific needs of your family. Like I said earlier, if the process breaks down and you have to go to litigation, you will need to find a new attorney. Because of this, the attorneys involved have a vested interest to keep the process moving forward. Yes, they want your money and this is great for you – they will work hard to keep you as their clients and reach an amicable agreement.
    • You will have access to specially trained professionals for every step of your process. This ensures that you will get a thorough review of all of the issues at hand. You can be assured that these specialists will make sure that you understand all the aspects of each issue. And, like your attorneys, it is in these specialists’ best interest to help you reach a mutually agreeable settlement.
    • While the collaborative divorce process isn’t inexpensive, it does allow you to avoid expensive (and potentially lengthy!) litigation. In the long run, it is likely that the collaborative divorce process will be less costly than litigation.
    • Since you’re not in court, you’re able to move at your own timeline.  This is huge, because you can focus on long term interests, not just short term interests. Of course, it may not always be comfortable in meetings with attorneys and specialists, but there is less pressure to make quick decisions. You have time to talk, talk to decide what is better for your family in the long run, and that usually leads to a settlement that both spouses will feel good about.
    • You control the outcome of your divorce.  During the negotiations, you are able to resolve your disputes, rather than letting a judge who has no clue about what is best for your family decide for you. You are able to create a custom settlement that is especially helpful for people who are in situations that are more complex like custody agreements, businesses, and complex assets.
    • Collaborative divorce allows for both spouses to feel good about the settlement that they agree upon. The negotiations were completed in a way that addresses the needs of both parties and what is best for your family, so usually both spouses feel that the agreement is fair.  In addition, litigation doesn’t take into account the emotional aspects of divorce. Collaborative divorce allows for mental health professionals and coaches to be used that will help each spouse move through the trauma of divorce and create open modes of communication between the spouses.  Each spouse can walk away feeling confident that the settlement is in the best interest of the entire family as a whole.
    • All of these things combined allows for the spouses to end the divorce process with a working relationship.  Having a functional relationship combined with a mutually agreeable settlement allows both spouses to have a game plan for the future and continue to maintain their family unit, even in separate homes. 

    Is Collaborative Divorce Right For Me?

    According to the article Is Collaborative Divorce Right For You? From Divorce Magazine, there are ten questions to help you determine if you’re a good candidate for collaborative divorce. In my experience, I found that being willing to put the good of my family above whatever hurt I was feeling, wanting to create our own solutions, and having neutral information about how the financial decisions we made could impact us in the short-term and in the long-term were the biggest reasons why I wanted to pursue the collaborative divorce process. When you check out their list of questions, you will get a really good idea of if you’re a good candidate for the collaborative divorce process.

    Keep in mind that to have a successful divorce process, you really should explore the different ways that you can divorce. Collaborative divorce requires both spouses to agree to be fully transparent and want to do the collaborative process. If you’re in a situation such as domestic violence or one spouse is going to be intentionally deceptive, the collaborative process is not the appropriate choice. If both spouses are on board with the process and willing to be fully transparent, then the collaborative process is a good choice to consider.

    If you’d like to discuss how I can coach you through your collaborative divorce process, please click here to schedule a call to see if we would be a good fit.

  • 5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety Symptoms Now

    5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety Symptoms Now

    When you’re feeling stressed and anxiety is creeping up, all you want is to feel better fast. Unfortunately, many of us tend to get fixated on the future and get lost in the wave of “what ifs” like what if I fail, what if it doesn’t work, what if I make a fool of myself, what if they laugh at me?  I have got five tips for you to cope with your feelings and start feeling back in control.

    • Take A Deep Breath

    Inhale to the count of 5, filling your belly and then your chest. Hold to the count of 5, and then slowly exhale to the count of 5. Repeat several times to allow your body to kick in its natural relaxation response.

    • Accept That You’re Anxious

    Remind yourself that anxiety is just a feeling – and feelings pass! You don’t have to like it, but you do need to understand that when you accept that anxiety is just a temporary emotional response, you’ll be able to move on more quickly from the emotion.

    • Use Positive Self Talk

    Repeat out loud or to yourself a positive self talk mantra like “This anxiety feels bad, but I can use strategies to manage it and move through it quickly like I have before.” You can combine this with your deep breathing to combat the sea of “what ifs”.

    • Focus On The Present

    Stop, take a breath and focus on what is going on right now in this moment. If you’re not sure how to focus on the present moment and keep getting swept up into the negative self talk or “what ifs”, then go back to deep breathing and focus only on your breath.

    • Focus On Meaningful Activity

    Another way to focus on the present moment is to do whatever meaningful activity you would have been doing had you not started experiencing anxiousness. Take some sort of action to move out of your head and get back to living your life. 

    When you’re feeling anxious, try to remind yourself be self-compassionate. Girl, you know these feelings will pass. You’ve made it through before, and you will right now. What kinds of tools do you use to help you pass through the feelings of anxiety? Leave me a comment below, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter!

  • Common Questions About My Coaching Program

    Common Questions About My Coaching Program

    Hey, girl! I was asked a few questions about my coaching program, so I thought I’d let you in on the answers, too – I like to get some good info before deciding to take the leap into something new, too! Here are my most often asked questions:

    • What is wellness coaching, life coaching, health coaching, and divorce coaching?

    In general, being coached by someone helps you achieve your goals. What makes coaching so beneficial is that it helps create the changes you wanted faster than when you tried doing it alone. Now, there is cut and dry coaching that just touches the surface – “hey what’s your goal, ok lets go get it” – that can be very helpful, especially in business and executive coaching.

    I focus on transformative coaching. I want to know what your goal is, but I want to help you figure out what the underlying issue is that is holding you back. I will help you challenge whatever self-limiting belief you may have that’s keeping you from reaching your goals.

    Wellness coaching and health coaching are generally used interchangeably. Both are focused on helping you to achieve your goals for your overall well-being taking into account both physical health and lifestyle factors. It can be that plain and simple, or it can be transformative like the style of life coaching you will receive with me.  Personally, the term wellness coaching reflects more of a whole life – whole body, mind and soul coaching – coaching rather than just your health.

    Life coaching focuses on clarifying your goals, challenges, and strategies for overcoming your obstacles. Like wellness coaching, this can also be cut and dry surface coaching or transformative, focusing on mindset, self limiting beliefs, fear, etc.

    Divorce coaching is transformative life and health/wellness coaching that specifically focuses on guiding someone through the transitions and new goals that divorce creates in their lives.

    You can read my story about how I became experienced in these areas by checking out this post. 

    • What is the difference between coaching and therapy?

    Coaches are collaborators. Unlike therapists, coaches do not diagnose or treat any medical, including mental health, issues. Therapy is truly about healing your past and bringing some closure to the events of the past, while coaching is focused on moving from the here and now toward a more positive future.  Both coaching and therapy can be used together and both can create a strong foundation in creating a better life for yourself.

    • How do I know if coaching is right for me?

    Aside from wanting to make positive change in your life, there are some other questions that you should ask yourself to see if you’re ready to enter into a coaching relationship:

    Am I open to changing the way I think and act so I can reach my goals?

    Am I willing to be challenged on the way I think and act so I can reach my goals?

    Am I ready to be as honest as possible so I can reach my goals?

    Am I willing to do the work to reach my goals?

    Am I committed to the process of coaching, understanding that the majority of transformation occurs between coaching session when I’m putting in the work to reach my goals?

    If you can answer yes to these questions, then it is extremely likely that, not only are you ready for coaching, but it will be highly beneficial to you.

    • How does your coaching program work?

    You can read more about how my program works by checking out this page. I recommend at least a six month program to my clients.  As you know, you didn’t get where you are right now in a day, so it will take longer than a day to get to where you want to go! And more importantly, remember that we are avoiding the quick-fix-and-quick-to-return-to-your-current-state bullsh*t – we want sustainable transformation! 

    Once you complete your coaching program, if you feel you would benefit to continue with our coaching sessions, I am always open to discussing your options to extend your program, including once a month or on-demand scheduling.

    Each program includes two 45 minute long meetings per month, all assessments, and email support, if desired, between sessions.

    Single coaching sessions can be requested, as well as longer sessions to address specific needs can be requested (please contact me to discuss).

    • How do I choose a coach?

    I’m going to be honest with you on this one, girl. This is purely intuition and/or gut reaction.

    The best way for you to choose a coach is to see if you like their presence online enough to schedule a call with them. Schedule that call and see if you mesh with the coach. Do you think this person can help you reach your goals? Are you comfortable talking to them? Are their prices within your financial boundaries? Expect to be a little nervous – I mean, you are talking about trying to transform your life into the one of your dreams, right? A wise friend once told me that fear can feel an awful lot like excitement, so is it really fear? Or is it excitement? Trust your gut. You’ll know if its the right person for you.

    Do you have a question that you don’t see here, busy Momma?  Post it below in the comments, or give me a hollah by clicking here and filling out my contact form.  Or…maybe you feel a tingle of excitement to start being coached? How about a quick 30 minute free phone call to see if we’d be a good match? Its completely free and no obligation to sign up for a program.  I believe that when you’re ready, you’re ready – so don’t expect a sales call. Let’s just get to know each other a tiny bit, see where you stand right in this moment, and if I can help you get to where you want to be.

    Click here to schedule a time to meet by phone.  I can’t wait to hear from you!

  • How My Coaching Program Works

    How My Coaching Program Works

    Hey, Momma! If you’re anything like me, you like to have a little more info before jumping into something. I hope this post can help shed some light on what to expect from your coaching sessions with me.

    Program Overview

    My coaching program provides confidential, heart-centered guidance, practical tips/resources, and structure that help you stay focused on your goals and moving toward them each day.  Because I know that you are you and I am me and we are two very lovely, very different souls, I don’t take a one size fits all approach to my coaching program.  Each session, I will meet you where you are in the moment, and that’s where we will begin. I believe in the concept of bio-individuality, where each person has their own unique health, food, exercise, and lifestyle needs, and I honor that each coaching session is about what you need right now to reach your goals. 

    The first session or two is usually devoted to determining your goals and establishing what you’d truly like to achieve. Don’t worry, girl! Its ok if you don’t know what that is yet! My job is to ask you the right questions during our sessions and help you decipher what truly matters most to you. I have some really helpful assessments like the Wheel of Life that can help you prioritize what areas of your life you’d like to focus on, whether that is food, physical activity, finances, relationships, spirituality, creativity, or even just getting your home in order! We will do whatever it takes for you to have absolute clarity about what you want to achieve. Once you’ve got your goals sitting in front of you, we will work together to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.

    You can expect to have some homework between sessions, but don’t get scared, Momma! I know you’re busy. The homework will be specific actions that we’ve identified as being the most important things you can do next to move closer to your overarching goal. We will be sure that these are things that you can accomplish before your next session.  Once you make the commitment to do the actions, knowing that you have someone holding you accountable will help you follow through and do that thing! If you want to make serious progress on reaching your goals, you will find that this crucial combination of commitment, accountability, and follow through is your new best friend.

    So when will you start seeing results? Well, it’s true that if you start taking action today, you’ll start to notice immediate changes.  But you also need to be realistic – bigger goals take a longer time to accomplish.  The key is coaching combined with consistent action – the best way to transform your life into the one you’ve been dreaming of. None of this quick-fix-and-quick-to-return-to-your-current-state bullsh*t. Our focus is long term, sustainable results that will bring you happiness and peace.

    Program Location & Length of Sessions

    Thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, it seems most people have gotten used to doing business by phone or video conference. Great news for us, because that means I am able to work with you even if you aren’t local to me. I do hope to be able to offer in-person coaching as soon as possible.  In the meantime, lets celebrate the fact that phone calls and video conferences mean no waiting in traffic, no searching for parking spaces, and therefore, LESS TIME COMMITMENT!  Our coaching sessions are 45 minutes long, although longer sessions can be requested for specific sessions (please contact me to discuss). 

    Program Options

    Generally, I recommend at least a six month program to my clients.  As you know, you didn’t get where you are right now in a day, so it will take longer than a day to get to where you want to go! And more importantly, remember that we are avoiding the quick-fix-and-quick-to-return-to-your-current-state bullsh*t – we want sustainable transformation.  

    Once you complete your coaching program, if you feel you would benefit to continue with our coaching sessions, I am always open to discussing your options to extend your program, including once a month or on-demand scheduling.

    Each program includes two 45 minute long meetings per month, all assessments, and texting and email support between sessions.

    Single coaching sessions can be requested, as well as longer sessions to address specific needs can be requested (please contact me to discuss).

    You can check out some of the most common questions I get asked about my coaching program by clicking here.

    Now What?

    Ok, girl, now you’ve got a handle on the details a bit more. Are you getting excited to be coached? How about a quick 30 minute free phone call to see if we’d be a good match? Its completely free and no obligation to sign up for a program.  I believe that when you’re ready, you’re ready – so don’t expect a sales call. Let’s just get to know each other a tiny bit, see where you stand right in this moment, and if I can help you get to where you want to be.

    Click here to schedule a time to meet by phone.  I can’t wait to hear from you!

  • Nice to meet you!

    Nice to meet you!

    Hey, girl! I’m super excited that you’re here.  Heck, I’m super excited that I’m here! Its pretty funny when you decide to start a blog, you wonder how to start, what to write about, and all the shiny things! So I figured a little bit of a deeper dive into how I got here might be a way for you to get to know me a bit more.

    If you read the “Professional Bio” area at the bottom of my about page, then you already know a little bit about me: I graduated from college, got married, had kids, went through a divorce, decided I need to help other people, attended health coaching training, and then decided to go for more life coaching training.

    Here’s what you don’t know:

    My divorce process lasted three full years. It was literally “official” three years to the date that I knew a divorce was going to happen. During that time, I felt a whole lot of what the heck is going on, how are my children going to make it through this, how will we be able to afford to live, how am I going to survive this? I made it through focusing on making all of my decisions based on what would be most beneficial to my children. I literally felt like I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or where I fit in within the world.

    Once my divorce was finalized, I knew it was really time to start figuring myself out. What did I want my life to look like? Was I ready for a new relationship? What did I want to be when I grew up? I took little steps of deciding what I didn’t want – that was easier than knowing what I did want. I started thinking about what kind of work I’d like to do and what would fit around the schedule of my number one priority: my children.

    During the summer of 2016 while my kids were on vacation with their dad, I got sick. Really weird sick.  Like several days of 105 degree fevers.  No puking.  Just fever, weakness, and headaches with total body pain.  I’ve suffered from terrible migraines since high school, but this illness made those debilitating migraines seem like a day at the park! When my fever “broke” to 102 degrees, I got in my car and drove three hours to my parents’ home (my dad is a kickass doctor!). 

    Upon arrival, I announced that I gave up and needed help.  They put me in bed and cared for me like I was a little kid.  During my time there, I joked that maybe I had Zika (remember that summer of Zika now?), but my family raised concerns about things like MS or Guillain-Barré syndrome.  Eventually, the fever, headaches, and body aches went away, but I didn’t fully recover. 

    In March of 2017, I finally said enough was enough and somehow thought maybe it was the way I was eating that was truly holding me back from getting back to 100 per cent. I heard about the Whole30 reset diet. I figured I really had nothing to lose, and April 2017 was my first time doing Whole30. By the end of May, I was starting to finally feel like I had a year ago before getting sick. It was proof to me that food really can be medicine.

    I found myself helping friends more and more about their health and well-being. I’d always been and sounding board for my friends, but I started to see more and more random people opening up around me. It made me wonder if maybe coaching was the route I should be exploring.

    As you know, I ended up studying at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and became certified as a health coach through their program – which was amazing, by the way! I learned so much about food, exercise and coaching that I was really happy to share with my friends and family.

    Once the coronavirus pandemic hit the United States in early 2020, the stage was set for change. The whole world had changed. I was in a funk. And I knew what that meant – a BIG change was coming my way.  I knew that I wanted to pursue education to bring the focus of my coaching around to life coaching and helping women experiencing the divorce process and post-process.

    I found iPEC Coaching and remembered that waaaaaay back when during my divorce process, I had considered doing their program. Fear held me back from taking that leap. I had so many synchronistic events occur over a three month period, that I finally just decided it was time to go sign up and dig deeper into coaching. And who did I speak to at iPEC? The same person I spoke to during my divorce process.  Clearly, I was ready for this.

    And so here we are…I have survived it all, ended up stronger, and now I’m ready to help you get through your challenges. I can’t wait for the day when you look back and see how far you’ve come!

    In the meantime, I’m going to be creating lots of helpful content for you to come check out and continue being a coach in my life and my clients’ lives. Just like this blog, my social media is just getting started.  I’d love it if you follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter!